


Tokyo

by ha_na_mi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: College, Drama, Fluff, M/M, New Beginning, Tokyo (City), oiyama, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8660296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ha_na_mi/pseuds/ha_na_mi
Summary: Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are at the end of their high school career.
While Tsukishima was invited to train and study with the best volleyball team of a College in Tokyo, Yamaguchi has no plan for his future. He only knows that he wants to keep being together with Tsukishima and gives his all to build a life in this megacity.
But soon he gets to his limits when he has to realize that he does not mean half as much to his best friend as he had hoped.Alone in Tokyo, he is now trying to build a new life, and he does not know whether he should judge the fact that Oikawa is suddenly clinging onto him as positive or negative.
Chaos, drama, misunderstandings and a few clumsy injuries are on their way!!





	

I wiped the sweat from my forehead.  
I did not even notice the smell of fried fat and mushy buns. Especially not now, when I saw Tsukki, as he entered the shop and looked around as uncertain as ever.

Anyone else would argue that Tsukki was never uncertain. Always cool. But I could see it. He felt uncomfortable entering a place like this alone. Where only students from the various schools and some couples hung around. A typical fast food store.

And I really appreciated that he was only here because of me.  
Joyfully, I took off my apron and went to the employee's locker room. Actually, I had been out for a quarter of an hour, but my best friend had always been late, so I decided to add a little more burgers, maybe I could get a little bonus for working more.  
Past the other employees, whom I only knew partly by name, I pushed with my school and sports bag. Sure, it was exhausting. The training, final exams and also working.

But I had a goal. And the goal stood impatiently in this burger-shop and let his gaze wander over the pack. When I was still working in my neighbor's flower shop, Tsukki was more relaxed when he picked me up. He also felt much more comfortable in the cinema. But of course he would never admit that.  
It really didn't matter that much, because this was just one of the many temporary jobs I had accepted to enable me to have a future together with him. This sounded a little wrong and I was sure that my motifs were also completely wrong, but there was something that drove me.

Tsukki raised his hand as a greeting, while I still straightened the collar of my shirt.  
Actually, we would just go home now. And yet that was the highlight of my day.  
A few weeks ago I had learned that of all the universities I had applied, only one thought of taking me at all. After three years in the college preparation class, this was quite crushing. And then also in a course of studies, which I had only chosen half-hearted, because the admission rates were high - economics. Economics a few hundred kilometers away from Tsukki.

He snuffed a little, as we climbed a somewhat steeper street. Since I had been working for a week in this fast food restaurant, which was quite a long way away from our normal school path, quite different challenges came to us. Steep, difficult to climb gradients. Gossiping Grandmas. Angry dogs.  
I wondered if Tsukki took these circumstances to be with me, or so he could add in a little more training for his time at the Tokyo College Volleyball-Team.  
Or as he called it - training camp. For him, the possibility of studying was less important than an opportunity to be better at volleyball. I liked his newly discovered zeal, but I did not know where to go.  
Training Camp ... my stomach tightened.

I could not figure out why it felt like that, but in my stomach was a mixture of envy, fear, and paralysis. Since I knew that Tsukki, who had not even applied to any university, was invited by a rather highly regarded one to pass the first few months after school for volleyball training. And attending the courses at this college. Just because.  
With a view to a scholarship. Tsukki. A scholarship. For volleyball. In Tokyo.  
These should actually be our last summer holidays. I quickly realized that I would land somewhere, in a mediocre university with mediocre courses and a mediocre life. I had assumed that Tsukki would be similar, just a little away from me.

Still, I felt as if life had been making fun of me. I had tried so hard. Learned so much. Even with all the outstanding results in the exams, I would not have a chance. Three years of my life. I had not even made it into the volleyball team as regular, asking myself more and more why I was even still attending the club.  
I should have asked Tsukki about it once. How he felt the whole thing. Whether he also thought it was unfair that life gave him so much.

He was currently trying to push his blond hair behind his ear. In the last few months it had grown pretty much, but he could not handle it. I liked that, liked how his long fingers brushed gently above his ear.  
Proud to have such an attractive best friend, I turned with him into the street, which would bring us back to our normal path. We had not talked yet, and although this was quite normal between the two of us, it felt weird since we both knew where our path was going.

Tsukki went to the training camp. And I went ... after Tsukki.  
The idea of studying economics plagued me so much that I had simply called the University one day and rejected. I wanted to block this way quickly, before I thought about it and made myself unhappy.  
Whether this was the right way, I did not know. I worked so hard to get together all the money I needed for my new apartment. My mother's brother seemed to rent a handful of apartments in Tokyo. He had warned me, they were very small and shabby. Nevertheless, he demanded enormous amounts. From me too. I should probably have talked to my mom first. But I had simply decided to take everything into my own hands and simply call him.

I wanted to go to Tokyo. Where Tsukki would go. I did not know what to do with me. So I followed Tsukki. As always. That had worked so well so far.  
My mom was of course pissed, when she had noticed all this. She probably still is. But her ignorance against me had fallen as soon as she learned that I was going to work for it. It has always been our family motto that hard work would always pay off.  
That motto actually didn't apply in volleyball for me, but sometimes life gives second chances.

Tsukki did not want to know much about hard work, and I could feel a snappy comment on my job every time, but he never wanted to get it over his lips.  
"Tsukki, do you know where you will live?"  
"Probably in the dorm."  
"The university has dormitories?"  
"Almost every university," he replied in a blunt tone, and I shrugged.  
"But you're not even a real student there!"  
"I can share a room with someone."  
"Wow! Tsukki and a roommate!"

I thought that was funny. The poor fellow certainly would not know what to do with my best friend. Tsukki would probably sit in front of his desk the whole day, listen to music, and learn. Miserable nerd! His roommate would never really appreciate his presence. Not like I would.  
I deserved to go to sleep next to Tsukki. To go away with him in the evening. Decorate our room. Whoever it was, I envied him. And I regretted deep inside me that I had not worked harder. Otherwise I would be the one who could live with him.

Instead, I had to learn to work, train and do it without a direct goal. Except for Tsukki.  
'Unfair!', cried my brain, but I quickly suppressed the thought.  
I was to blame myself. Since last year I was hoping. Every hand movement, every touch, everything had always been some kind of sign to me. But still, I went to bed every evening, unkissed. At the same time, I could not even tell if Tsukki was. Unkissed.

He could be trusted that he had a girlfriend and did not tell me. Not to hide it. But because I was not important enough to share such information with me.  
A little frustrated, I blew air from my nose. I have often been told that I was someone who always felt 'strong'. I used to know what that meant. Now I only knew that I was an emotionally sensitive disaster who interprets too much in nearly every situation. And if my heart wanted me to spend as much time as possible with Tsukki, then that was law for the rest of my body.

I felt now that we were getting farther and farther apart. It came to an end. The summer was hot, as if he wanted to melt away the last hope from us. There was a new beginning and I was afraid to do it alone.  
To him, I had said that I just wanted to try to survive in Tokyo. What I could to there. Whether I could find myself there. My dream job. He did not seem to care. He was not one to talk to anyone else. But still I would have liked a little more attention. I mean, we could still be together in Tokyo!  
I had hoped for a bit more 'You can do it!'. Not the vibe of 'I don't really care what you do.'  
We said good-bye at the crossroads, and he pushed his headphones to his ears, while I was still standing there, watching him. What was going on in his head? Had I chosen the wrong way?  
A little tormented, I made my way home and tried to wash the smell of burgers and fries from my body.

Hinata and Kageyama were both completely overwhelmed with joy that they had passed all the tests. Even I was absolutely surprised. I was even more surprised that they had both applied to a college in Osaka - and were accepted promptly. Hinata had decided on something like accounting, Kageyama had landed for some field in physics and chemistry. But the real reason was, of course, the highly respected volleyball team at the faculty.  
And almost typical for the two was that they had applied independently, without the knowledge of the other. I would love to see the continuation of this duo, and I was sure that I would soon be able to witness on television.

But first we had to say goodbye. Us Four. The first years, which were developing really differently. Our loose friendship would also end.  
Kageyama had been more and more pleased with the sciences than with other subjects, which I had already noticed in our common - forced - learning periods. But Hinata took a rather large sacrifice with business and accounting, and he would have to make even more effort to get there.  
But I knew he could do it. His motivation was big enough, his will strong, his joy unrestrained.  
And I felt lost, alone in the middle of the closing ceremony, because I could not find Tsukki and no one else to talk to. All told about their plans, their projects.

No one asked me, but I could only have answered that I followed Tsukki to Tokyo and 'look around'.  
Nothing to be proud of. Three years and I was almost like at the beginning.  
Bad in volleyball, without goal in life and with exaggerated strong feelings for his best friend. I had lost sight of everything else. Friendships that could have been. Tasks I could have accomplished myself.  
I had always thought it would go well somehow. And now it was evening and the gym was emptying.  
Tsukki was just as deserted as I was in the crowd. I spotted him a few yards away from me.  
He grinned at me.

"There you are!"  
My voice sounded hoarse, perhaps a little sad and muted.  
"It took me a long time to get my stuff packed."  
"When do you move?"  
I did not even know. And Tsukki did not even seem to mind.  
"On Sunday, it'll start right away."  
"Sounds exhausting."  
"What about you?"  
His voice sounded pale but penetrating and I smiled. Because I always smiled when Tsukki was talking to me.  
"I've got a few more weeks, I have to wait for my next payment, then I can pay the deposit for my apartment."  
"Hm."  
"Are you glad we'll be together in Tokyo then?"

Curiously, I watched his reaction. In his hand he held his report, he had pinned some of his hairs behind his ears. His gaze passed me straight. And he shrugged.  
That was the moment when I realized that I could no longer make a point. Tsukki was not stressed. He was annoyed. About me. Because I had given everything I have, just to be with him. Because I was struggling so much. Because I could not do without him.  
At first I wanted to protest. Sure, I had spent a lot of my life on Tsukki's side so far. We were always in the same class, in the same club. Had a similar school way. Sometimes I visited him at home. How best friends usually do.

"Obviously not." I said disappointedly, not even letting him answer, as I walked out the gym.  
"Oi! Tadashi!"  
It made me even more angry that it had not been Tsukki who had called for me here, but Hinata. I could have had so much. Could have made closer contact with Hinata and Kageyama. But I had messed up that too.  
The two would go to Osaka and I would never see them again.  
No, I would move to Tokyo, into a small apartment consisting of only two rooms. And I would watch both of them reaching their dreams through television. Because they had hit the right target. My goal, on the other hand, would always be removed from me. He would get the scholarship. Find friends at the university.  
And I would probably work up to my life in some third-class jobs. I did not even have one. Had a month to find one, otherwise I would have to go back to my parents.  
For me nothing was certain. For me, nothing was beautiful.  
Life was unjust.

I clenched my hands together, tightened my shoulders, so that this sudden surge of emotions would not overwhelm me. No, I had to run. Away from this school, away from the volleyball team, away from my best friend and my classmates.  
I had done everything wrong and now I did not even have the strength to face it all. I knew I would not see Tsukki for a long time when I left the building. But my anger at myself, at him, was so great that it carried me away without having to think about it. Home.  
To a room, which soon would not be my own. On my bed, from which I could take the mattress with to Tokyo, because the rest did not fit into the apartment. All the books, pillows, video games. Everything I had to leave. Because I wanted to go after Tsukki.

My heart pounded so fast and did not stop for a long time. My parents had cooked something very special for me, but I could not get out of my room.  
My feelings changed between hatred for Tsukki and longing for him. I felt lonely and deserted.  
Another two weeks in this stupid fast food restaurant, where I did not even bother to get to know the staff. Missed opportunities.

Sunday was the worst day. I knew Tsukki would leave today. He had packed all his belongings in boxes, accompanied by his mother and his brother. Normally I would have been there. Had been sitting in the big moving car, talking to Tsukki about what we could do in Tokyo, how bright our future was, how beautiful his room.  
Probably I would have just got on his nerves. This feeling had been following me for some time. But I had ignored it, thought it would disappear. I did not want to make a fool of myself. But when Tsukki shrugged his shoulder when I asked him if he was gald I was following him to Tokyo, a comparatively harmless gesture, destroyed all hope in me.

Everything inside me collapsed and I spent hours in the bed, stared out the window and wondered if one of the big cars would be his. Would he come by? He had not even texted me since, which hurt even more.  
My scalp itched, I felt disgusting, had not showered since the celebration. Had to work tomorrow. Without friends or acquaintances nearby. Without school in the morning, training in the afternoon. Only with the smell of fritted fat and silence.


End file.
